Do you ever feel happy?
You smile, then you laugh. You laugh more, then suddenly tears coming down your cheeks.
I cannot explain how it feels. But, its kinda storm, or like some astronomical things crashing each other. Its like skydiving without parachute. You blend it all... excited, worries, guilty, disappointed, happy, just blend it all...
You see that happy faces... you feel their smile. You laugh their jokes. You kinda be around them. And you feel happy.
In the same time. Precisely the same time, you lose it. You have just fuckin lose it. Totally lose it. You are far far away behind Saturn. Like thousand lightyears, million, billion goddamnit..
Happiness is bullshit. You feel it but it's bullshit. You are just fucked up. Fucked up for more than 7 years goddamnit.
You are lost in Gargantua. Your time dimension has been stretching while you still consider she's the one and only, proper and pretty, to be the queen of anything in your simple house, near your parent's house in the middle of the city.
Shit. I should sleep. They say sleep cure anything. But im not in medical treatment or therapy.
I should log out the social media goddamnit.